10. Macramé

What is it with white people and arts and crafts?

Macramé or macrame is a form of textile-making using knotting rather than weaving or knitting. Its primary knots are the square knot and forms of hitching (full hitch and double half hitches). It's origins date back to 13th-century Arab weavers who knotted the excess thread on their looms into decorative fringes and patterns.

Of course, it would take whites of the 1970s to prostitute the ethnic tradition, transforming it from a middle-Eastern art form into a coma-inducing timewaster for desperate housewives too afraid to indulge in swinging or pill-popping to enliven their joyless existences.

Whites, always keen on misappropriating the art of others, even passed macramé on to their children.

I should know, for I made a macramé owl for my mother in the 4th grade ... and I had to stay after school to do it. The hideous creation hung in our kitchen for several years and hopefully now decorates the 14th layer of the local landfill.

There's a good reason there's no African-American Martha Stewart. That shit is a waste of time.