Friday, April 25, 2008

17. Minibikes

Not content with regular-sized motorcycles or mere bicycles, white persons and their offspring joined in the minibike craze that started in the late 1960s.

Minbikes were first popularly used as "pit bikes", for drag racers to scoot around in the pits during races in the late 1950s. They were very useful for this purpose, as they could maneuver very well in the tight pit roads, fit in about the same space as a small bicycle in a trailer or pickup, and they were faster than most previous forms of transportation.

So desperate to endanger the lives of their children, white people crafted homemade minibikes out of PVC tubing, two by fours and any Briggs and Stratton engine they could get their white, white hands on.

Soon, manufacturers of other white people time-waster/death machines like the snowmobile and dune buggy joined the minibike fray, and the revolution was on — until they realized what a potential liability they had on their hands. Over 34,000 kids under the age of 14 perished on minibikes in 1977 alone.*

Minibikes are no longer the go-to toy for households looking to endanger their loved ones. ATVs have replaced the minibike as the population-control mechanism of choice for rural whites.

However, a small part of the white populace still enjoy riding around haphazardly on what are now termed 'pocket bikes' or mini-motos.

* - made up statistic to give post more content.



Oooh! .... the evil mini-bike! The worst thing mankind has invented since plastic bags and bacon sandwiches.

Back in the 70s when I was a kid we used to smoke cigarettes and shoot guns while we were riding our mini-bikes, and nobody cared.

I wonder what the statistics are for little boys who accidently stab themselves in the eye while knitting sweaters with their mommies?

PATX said...

if you were a good writer who had any potential you wouldnt need to make up stats... get a life.