Monday, April 14, 2008

11. Oleo

White people used to like Oleo, for sure, but half of those who liked it didn't really know what the hell it was. Many still don't ... this white person included.

Was it margarine? Was it some other kind of butter substitute? Was it a spreadable Italian oil? Who cared? You could put it on stuff and then eat it.

At first, white people were like, "Mmmm ... Oleo, it's so darned delicious ... I think." But then other white people were like, "What the hell is it made out of? I can't taste anything? Is is butter or is it liquid plastic or something?"

Eventually, scientists stepped in to have the various forms of what was called Oleo analyzed. Trans fatty acids. Hydrogenated oils. Blah blah blah. Etcetera etcetera. Bottom line is they found Oleo could kill people--white people included--and so Oleo quickly fell out of favor.

Side note: Oleo is often confused with Olean, which is a kind of miracle compound that produces oily discharges.

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