Wednesday, May 7, 2008

18. Thoroughbred Horse Racing

Big hats. Mint Juleps. Giant horse cocks and wagering. White people really knew how to have fun!

That all changed last Saturday at the Kentucky Derby when the Philly Eight Belles broke both her ankles running the race and had to be euthanized right out there on the track.

White people I know were furious.

“Why do we continue to subject these poor creatures to this cruel and unusual punishment!” they shouted.

“Running of any kind should be banned!” they explained from their semi-reclined positions, while rubbing their bellies, waving remote controls and asking similarly positioned friends to please, "pass the chips."

As far as white people were concerned, as soon as those large white (of course) trucks surrounded Eight Belles on the infield, thoroughbred horse racing was put out of its centuries-old misery as well.

Until the first Saturday in May 2009, that is. Then it’s game on, bitches, and down the stretch they come!


cher said...

Great post guys!


I'll make you a deal: I'll stop attending Thoroughbred races, my big hats and my mint juleps; if you stop going to rave clubs, taking extacy and wearing those silky gay shirts.

Okay, do we have a deal?