19. The Keytar

Is it a keyboard? A guitar? Well, unless scientists run completely out of more important things to prove, we'll sadly never know.

But our collective ignorance is bliss. White people bliss, baby!

White people used to love the Keytar. A simple musical device, it allowed those whites who endured a childhood full of painful piano lessons to take the stage and pretend they were as cool as the guy who learned to play the guitar. But no one is as cool as the guy who plays guitar. Sure, there are plenty of whites who still play the guitar, but nearly none who actively pursue a career in keytaring. Why? Perhaps because the keytar player even comes in a few notches below the bass player in the rock band pantheon of coolness. That's right, even Michael Anthony is cooler than you, keytar player.

These misguided whites would have been better off sticking to the piano, which can be marginally cool for otherwise-uncool white people (see Joel, Billy)